Sex, Drugs, and American Politics: or how I learned to stop worrying and love the republicans, Chapters 1 & 2

Part 1: “Izzy von Kessler, Pothead of the Potomac”
 
Chapter 1
Izzy.
 
“Congressman,” said the intern, “congressman, it’s time to wake up.”
“What the fuck! What time is it?” asked the congressman sleepily.
“Its 4:16, sir,” said the intern, “you must have passed out after the people dropped you, sir.”
“They dropped me,” he replied quizzically.
“Yes you were crowd-surfing and you [...]

Ab Irato (from an angry man)

By Cassius “Irato” Erixonius
Sic Semper Tyranus! It is time to bring about the end of the roman senate and these horrible assemblies. They are evil, unbalanced and arcane institutions that smear the name of Rome and betray the intention of those who hope for a true republic. Just look at the Comitia Centuriata; of its [...]