Ed Cullen: My Poem of Dissent

Edward cullen is a pedophile
A vampire blessed with dashing
Good looks, quite a bit of guile
And a fang-toothed grin for the flashing
 
He may look innocent although I admit
He is rather gaunt and might have scurvy
But over this, don’t throw a fit
He’s actually rather pervy
 
His age advanced, of this, no lie,
He voted Hoover for President!
He shall [...]

The Rubberband Incident, Part II: Julian’s Story

Julian’s Side of the Story
By Julian
My name is Julian not “Julie”, I am a man and Mr. Perry is a couple lifeboats short of a royal navy. Ok here is what really happened.  I was on my way to get my boss, Stephen Perry, out of jail as he had been arrested last month at [...]

The Rubber Band Incident, Part I: Stephen’s Story

STEPHEN PERRY
BY STEPHEN PERRY
Wherein My inconceivable, unparalleled and imperceptible jenius performs yet another act of super-human brilliance!!
 
So there I was, I had just read this new poem about a bird by a poet named Edgar Allen something that was in the Jan. 29 New York Evening Mirror. And now I was just lounging around in [...]

Edward Cullen is a Pedophile: The Twilight of American Literature

What is wrong with our society when our youth will use cliff notes for “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” but not a single one of them can resist reading a book about a vampire who falls in love with a teenager. Wow. Was Buffy really that long ago?
They are calling this the new Harry Potter. [...]