The Rubber Band Incident, Part I: Stephen’s Story

STEPHEN PERRY
BY STEPHEN PERRY
Wherein My inconceivable, unparalleled and imperceptible jenius performs yet another act of super-human brilliance!!
 
So there I was, I had just read this new poem about a bird by a poet named Edgar Allen something that was in the Jan. 29 New York Evening Mirror. And now I was just lounging around in [...]

Why Hillary Clinton Worries Me

I am a Democrat, a Biden caucus-goer, and an Obama supporter. I admire Hillary and feel she is a respectable and accomplished politician who can best serve her goals and the needs of her followers by remaining in the senate and using her advocacy skills on a great range of issues.
1. Her single-minded independent, while [...]

Flip-Flop: The “Liberal” Media and Conservative Hypocrisy

All throughout the campaign, Barack Obama never stopped playing defense on the issue of experience. According to the McCain campaign, Obama lacked the experience, he hadn’t been tested, he was nothing more than a celebrity, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Now that he has been elected by a sweeping electoral majority, he is being tarred and feathered [...]

Thanksgiving Sarcasm: A Haiku, A Fragment

I give much thanks for
The brutal treatment of the
Indian peoples

Edward Cullen is a Pedophile: The Twilight of American Literature

What is wrong with our society when our youth will use cliff notes for “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” but not a single one of them can resist reading a book about a vampire who falls in love with a teenager. Wow. Was Buffy really that long ago?
They are calling this the new Harry Potter. [...]

Sex, Drugs and American Politics: Chapter 3

Chapter 3
Fundraising.
Izzy and Billy caught a plane back to California to meet with one of Izzy’s greatest fundraisers, Dr. Thomas J. Foolery M.D., head of the Cannabis Research Center, and owner of “The Spliff Skiff”, an aptly-named cruise ship that caters to Willie Nelson fans. When they landed, they drove to a large beachside bohemian [...]

Sex, Drugs, and American Politics: or how I learned to stop worrying and love the republicans, Chapters 1 & 2

Part 1: “Izzy von Kessler, Pothead of the Potomac”
 
Chapter 1
Izzy.
 
“Congressman,” said the intern, “congressman, it’s time to wake up.”
“What the fuck! What time is it?” asked the congressman sleepily.
“Its 4:16, sir,” said the intern, “you must have passed out after the people dropped you, sir.”
“They dropped me,” he replied quizzically.
“Yes you were crowd-surfing and you [...]

It’s Still The Economy… And You’re Still Stupid!!

Wrote this for my school newspaper so the into is outdated, first time we got any complaints all year.
Last October, the Dow Jones Industrial Average reached an all time high of over 14,000, and today, more than a year later, it is down more that 3,000 points. In January of last year crude oil was [...]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?, A Treatise on Sexism

Why did the chicken cross the road? Seemingly a simple question about the motives of a certain farm animal and his traffic-related concerns, however, I believe this simple question, some times mistaken as a joke without a punch line, is a symbol of the institutionalized culture of gender discrimination that has endured for eons despite [...]